By Shakyh Dahee @ Islamic Center of Johnson County:
This Friday’s topic was: Good Manners – Akhlaaq: THIS IS AN INTEGRAL PART OF ISLAM… (NOT something you ADD on after finishing the other aspects of the religion).
Allah (SWT) says in
Surah 21. Al-Anbiya, Verse 107:
وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَاكَ إِلَّا رَحْمَةً لِّلْعَالَمِينَ
And We have not sent you but as a mercy to the worlds.
Part of the mercy in this life is about teaching us GOOD MANNERS.
Surah 3. Aal-e-Imran, Verse 159:
فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لَانفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ فَاعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَاسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِي الْأَمْرِ فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُتَوَكِّلِينَ
Thus it is due to mercy from Allah that you deal with them gently, and had you been rough, hard hearted, they would certainly have dispersed from around you; pardon them therefore and ask pardon for them, and take counsel with them in the affair; so when you have decided, then place your trust in Allah; surely Allah loves those who trust.
Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said: “I was sent to improve and complete the most noble of good character (manners)”. [Al-Hakim and others (sahih)]
When Imam Malik (RA) was a young boy his mom sent him to Madeenah to gain knowledge, but his mother advised him by saying “O Malik, “Go to Rabee’ah and learn from him manners before you learn knowledge”. http://alminbar.com/khutbaheng/2272.htm
Because no matter how much knowledge you have gained if you don’t have good manners (akhlaaq) your knowledge will be worth nothing.
Who is going to want to listen to and learn from someone who is harsh and rude towards others?
A brilliant student of Imam Malik gained all his knowledge from the Imam in the first year but yet continued to stay and study with the Imam for 20 years. When asked why? He said in the first year he gained his knowledge but for the remaining 19 years he stayed and learned good manners from Imam Malik.
It is important to remember that good manners are more important than good knowledge.
Abu Hurayra, may Allah be pleased with him reported: A man asked, “O Messenger of Allah! There is a woman who prays, gives charity and fasts a great deal, but she harms her neighbors with her speech (by insulting them)” He said: “She will go to hell” The man said: “O messenger of Allah! There is (another) woman who is well-known for how little she fasts and prays, but she gives charity from the dried yoghurt she makes and she does not harm her neighbors” He said: “She will go to paradise” (Ahmad, vol. 4, p. 166, Ibn Hibban, hadith no. 2054)
You cannot pray and hurt your neighbors.
You cannot fast and speak badly about your neighbors.
If you are praying 5 times a day and you are hurting your neighbors it will not benefit you.
It is essential to remember that you have to be nice to everyone not just with Muslims!!!
Start your knowledge with good manners and gain your knowledge step by step.
One day a man came to the Prophet (SAW) and said to him “Ya Muhammad, give me the money fro the Muslims house it not yours and it not your father’s money. The Prophet asked the man to follow him and gave him some money, he then asked him if it was enough for him, the man said ‘No’ so the Prophet (SAW) gave him more money and asked if it was enough, the man said ‘No’. The Prophet (SAW) again gave him more money , he gave him money 3 times with a smile on his face. The man then said ‘Yes Rasool Allah (Prophet of Allah) and asked for forgiveness.
With this hadith it is important to remember that the best way to get close to people is with good manners. (Sorry I do not have reference for this hadith.)
`Abd Allah ibn Hārith (may Allah be pleased with him) said about him, “I have never seen anyone smile more than the Prophet (SAW).”
When you smile in your brother’s face it is considered sadaqah (charity). [Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 3, Number 98]
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, asked, “Do you know who the bankrupt are?” They said, “The one without money or goods is bankrupt.” So the Prophet said, “The bankrupt are those from my nation who come on the Day of Resurrection with prayer, fasting, and charity, but comes also insulting, slandering, consuming wealth, shedding blood, and beating others. They will each be given from his good deeds; if his good deeds run out before the score is settled, their bad deeds will be cast upon him, then he will be thrown into the Hellfire.”
Source: Sahih Muslim 4678 http://www.dailyhadithonline.com/2011/05/08/do-you-know-who-the-bankrupt-are/
Similar khutbah: http://www.firstpost.com/topic/place/qatar-good-manners-akhlaaq-kamal-el-mekki-video-IH2_0_IWUN0-3449-1.html
Book 71 – The Book of Al-Adab (Good Manners), Chapter 12. The sin of that person whose neighbor does not feel safe from his evil.
2021. Narrated ‘Aisha (RA): The Prophet (SAW) said, “Jibrael (Gabriel) continue to recommend me about treating the neighbors kindly and politely, so much so that I thought he would order me to make them as my heirs”. [8:43- O.B].
2022. Narrated by Abu Shuraih (RA): The Prophet (SAW) said, “By Allah, he does not believe! By Allah he does not believe! By Allah, he does not believe!” It was said, “Who is that, O Allah’s Messenger?” He said, “That person whose neighbor does not feel safe from evil.” [8:45- O.B].
BEFORE YOU SPEAK BADLY OFF SOMEONE REMEMBER YOU ARE GIVING AWAY A GOOD DEED OF YOURS!