Patience with kids during Ramadan

“Whoever persists in being patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience.”

Patience is such a difficult virtue to cultivate; but kids are absolutely relentless at teaching it. They don’t take no for an answer, the more you ask them to not do something, the harder it is for them to not do it. Ramadan is a time for self reflection and self control and the most amazing time to understand our limitations and why we have them. Are these barriers self created? Can we forge a path between giving in and giving less? Can we find a happy medium of doing right for our child while raising a disciplined kid? In the Qur’an children are often referred to as gifts/ a trust given to you by God, and a test. Both require compassion to appreciated. Both require patience to be endured. A gift should be honored, appreciated, and shown gratitude. A test should be a learned from, valued, and used to strengthen our faith. But too many folks feel that kids disrupt our spiritual journey, our religious obligations, and especially in Ramadan our “Me” time of getting closer to Allah (SWT) not realizing that Allah (SWT) has already chosen this path for you, this test for you, to see if you show gratitude to His blessing or push it aside to seek another blessing. “He creates what He wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males.” [Qur’an, 42:49].

The prophet (PBUH) used to honor his child, Fatimah, to the extent that when she entered his (PBUH)‘ s room he (PBUH) would stand up and give her his (PBUH) seat and when he (PBUH) entered her room she would stand up and give him (PBUH), her seat. Nowadays all we expect from children is respect us, respect elders. But the prophetic way of dealing with kids was to treat them with honor, with respect, with compassion and love. May we all learn from his (PBUH)s way of positive parenting. If we focus our methods on disciplining with love rather than fear, we will build a stronger relationship for the future and help a child become a stronger, more mindful, more compassionate human being, In’shaa’Allah.

“I HAVE NOT SEEN ANYONE CLOSER IN CONDUCT, WAY, AND MANNERS TO THAT OF THE MESSENGER OF ALLAH IN REGARDS TO STANDING AND SITTING, THAN FATIMAH THE DAUGHTER OF THE MESSENGER OF ALLAH (PEACE AND BLESSINGS BE UPON HIM).” SHE SAID “WHENEVER SHE WOULD ENTER UPON THE PROPHET (PEACE AND BLESSINGS BE UPON HIM) HE WOULD STAND TO HER AND KISS HER, AND HE WOULD SIT HER IN HIS SITTING PLACE. WHENEVER THE PROPHET (PEACE AND BLESSINGS BE UPON HIM) ENTERED UPON HER SHE WOULD STAND FROM HER SEAT, AND KISS HIM AND SIT HIM IN HER SITTING PLACE.”

Teach don’t preach

Fear is never meant to be a child’s guiding principle.

Faith is, compassion is, love is… so when teaching a child about religion, don’t guide them through fear.

Fear is only used to explain Allah (SWT) justice as one of His many attributes. You take heed of His Might, you believe in it, for He will bring the unjust to justice.

You don’t fear Allah (SWT), you respect His warnings, Just like a mom tells her child not to touch something hot and they still touch it. It is out of the mother’s love that she warns the child… and it is out of disobedience that the child burns his finger. Similarly when God tells us to live our life a certain way, a righteous life, and warns us of the hereafter, fear, isn’t the guiding principle, it is still love.

#teachchildrendontpreach.

Ibn Al Qayyim said: “The heart on its journey towards Allah the Exalted is like that of a bird. Love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. When the head is healthy, then the two wings will fly well. When the head is cut off, the bird will die. When either of two wings is damaged, the bird becomes vulnerable to every hunter and predator.”

“When Allah completed the creation, He wrote in His Book which is with Him on His Throne, “My Mercy overpowers My Anger””

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)

Integrity

Just like a windshield protects occupants in a vehicle

Integrity is a transparent barrier that protects your soul from harmful elements
Once chipped it can break easily
And expose your soul to more negativity.

In the world of one click shopping, easy returns, and ever changing consumerism

  • Integrity is so easy to sell these days…
    I bought a cover for my new tablet; and once I got it, me being germaphobe, I decided to clean it with an alcohol wipe but it spoilt the art work on the leather (it was painted and not printed). My first instinct was oh God I spoilt it but no worries I can return it and get a new one. I was being selfish and selling my integrity for a few bucks. I am sure many of us have done this. Used a product and returned it or broken it and returned it, saying it’s a faulty product or something similar. In the world of ever changing, fast consumerism, and instant gratification, we have become desensitized to chipping away our integrity slowly but surely.
    So be conscious of your decisions
    And keep your integrity in check
    For just like a windshield
    protects occupants in a vehicle
    Integrity is a transparent barrier that protects your soul from harmful elements
    Once chipped it can break easily
    And expose your soul to more negativity.

The Prophet (PBUH) said:

“You must be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will keep speaking the truth and striving to speak the truth until he will be recorded by Allah as a siddiq (speaker of the truth). Beware of telling lies, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hellfire. A man will keep telling lies and striving to tell lies until he is recorded by Allah as a liar.”

Happy New Year

If 2020 has taught us anything it is that compassion for other human beings was our greatest struggle and our greatest achievement as humanity. We may have empathy, an innate ability to feel for another person, but to help another person reach their potential, or give away our selfish nature in order to provide for another is a struggle we must all live with and work on.

“Indeed, I will make upon the earth a successive authority.” They said, “Will You place upon it one who causes corruption therein and sheds blood, while we declare Your praise and sanctify You?” Allah said, “Indeed, I know that which you do not know.” [Qur’an, 2:30]