“Whoever persists in being patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience.”
Patience is such a difficult virtue to cultivate; but kids are absolutely relentless at teaching it. They don’t take no for an answer, the more you ask them to not do something, the harder it is for them to not do it. Ramadan is a time for self reflection and self control and the most amazing time to understand our limitations and why we have them. Are these barriers self created? Can we forge a path between giving in and giving less? Can we find a happy medium of doing right for our child while raising a disciplined kid? In the Qur’an children are often referred to as gifts/ a trust given to you by God, and a test. Both require compassion to appreciated. Both require patience to be endured. A gift should be honored, appreciated, and shown gratitude. A test should be a learned from, valued, and used to strengthen our faith. But too many folks feel that kids disrupt our spiritual journey, our religious obligations, and especially in Ramadan our “Me” time of getting closer to Allah (SWT) not realizing that Allah (SWT) has already chosen this path for you, this test for you, to see if you show gratitude to His blessing or push it aside to seek another blessing. “He creates what He wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males.” [Qur’an, 42:49].
The prophet (PBUH) used to honor his child, Fatimah, to the extent that when she entered his (PBUH)‘ s room he (PBUH) would stand up and give her his (PBUH) seat and when he (PBUH) entered her room she would stand up and give him (PBUH), her seat. Nowadays all we expect from children is respect us, respect elders. But the prophetic way of dealing with kids was to treat them with honor, with respect, with compassion and love. May we all learn from his (PBUH)s way of positive parenting. If we focus our methods on disciplining with love rather than fear, we will build a stronger relationship for the future and help a child become a stronger, more mindful, more compassionate human being, In’shaa’Allah.
“I HAVE NOT SEEN ANYONE CLOSER IN CONDUCT, WAY, AND MANNERS TO THAT OF THE MESSENGER OF ALLAH IN REGARDS TO STANDING AND SITTING, THAN FATIMAH THE DAUGHTER OF THE MESSENGER OF ALLAH (PEACE AND BLESSINGS BE UPON HIM).” SHE SAID “WHENEVER SHE WOULD ENTER UPON THE PROPHET (PEACE AND BLESSINGS BE UPON HIM) HE WOULD STAND TO HER AND KISS HER, AND HE WOULD SIT HER IN HIS SITTING PLACE. WHENEVER THE PROPHET (PEACE AND BLESSINGS BE UPON HIM) ENTERED UPON HER SHE WOULD STAND FROM HER SEAT, AND KISS HIM AND SIT HIM IN HER SITTING PLACE.”