No newspapers to read parked in the balcony with one leg crossed on top of the other. The internet has even saved me the trouble of flipping pages, trying to forge a busy morning by relaxing for a few minutes scrambling through the paper. All I have is a laptop that reliably lets me sit in bed till my butt gets numb or my eyes dim into a deep sleep. How mundane mornings have become for me, as I wave my husband good bye, I pray for a few minutes, make breakfast and plop right into bed with a cup of oatmeal/tea, and my beautifully crafted Sony VAIO. I Google random words like PayPal/jobs/weight loss/Azithromycin; follow a few people of Facebook, click on Home several times to see if there are others with nothing else to do but update their status. What a waste of time, but nevertheless it must be done, for I am lacking creativity and zest. As the day scouts by, I search for the regular jobs knowing very well I need to lie on my resume about my education qualifications if not I will not get a simple job that only requires a high school graduate. I pin my hopes nevertheless that truth will get me somewhere and even though I delete my qualifications, I go back and retype it, only to apply for another rejection. As the day dampens by now I have probably clicked on home a few 100 times, x-ed out of the website only to reopen it within 2 minutes. I wait in search of ideas of what to do, ways to be of use to humanity. Is not getting me into any trouble or causing anyone any trouble serving humanity as well? Is that enough to rest a peaceful soul at night?

January 21st, 2010.