I started off this week valuing integrity and honor , I believed in this quote “You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings.” ~ Peal S. Buck. I still believe this but now I think there has to be more. There has to be give and take it can’t just be give, it can’t just be take. I cannot always do what’s right without filling a void of what’s needed.
I’ve always been crediting myself with the nonsense of being more spiritual than religious, but lately I’ve been in this oblivion and have come to accept that I’m neither spiritual nor religious ‘I am only daringly human!’ A human with a need for God. With a need for something out there that makes more sense than my life does, is more responsible than I am, and is holier than I am. I am tired of answering to my own self, my own deep set values and my own chivalrous ego. I am counting on God to make sense of it all. Is it sad that I am waiting for the end to understand why it all began?
I am ending this week with honesty and awareness. I have come to a conclusion that even though most of the time we must do what is right, sometimes we need to focus on what’s necessary. it’s time for me to switch off to focus on what must be done. I was speaking to a dear friend this morning and I realized that even though sometimes we tend to complicate simple things there are times when we try hard to oversimplify or ignore complicated things. Sometimes things are not as easy as we wish them to be and we must learn to respect the gravity of the situation rather than ignore it.
I must switch off, if not I will continue to try too hard. I must switch off, if not I continue to give too much, I must switch off , if not I will be forced to burn out and I am not ready to burn out.