Qi.

The other day I learned something through my own vision… I was focusing on one small point and after a while every thing else around it was slowly turning blurry, I would’ve experienced this many times as I’m sure many of you have. If you haven’t you should definitely try it. Try focusing your vision on a small object for a while and you’ll notice that not just the surrounding but even the object you are focusing on loses visibility, the object of your focus becomes hazy as though your mind is losing it’s ability to process. Similarly in life if we focus too long on one thing, we are unable to see all the other important things that come with it, our brain loses its ability to process reality.’ I wrote that a long time ago.

Funny sometimes are own lessons are forgotten in search of new ones. I had forgotten how easily one can lose focus on the issue at hand and make something completely else the center of ones world. Almost like trading spaces to create a better one but in the end forgetting what we were really trying to fix. Our mind is really good at playing tricks on us, it is easy for it to create scenarios when one’s judgment is clouded, biased, or faith in something too strong. Maybe that is why some people hear voices. Maybe the cloudiness of one’s mind and emotions is what causes auditory hallucinations. Apparently hearing voices is ‘one of the most awe-inspiring, terrifying, and ill-understood tricks the human psyche is capable of,’ Psychology Today and not all of them are bad. Some maybe inspirational, motivational and even capable of guidance; but when they take over ones psyche it can become an impending problem. Okay but to ease your tension I do not hear voices in my head. I do however have two very obnoxious inner voices that can battle it out to the brink of insanity, but apparently inner voices are normal. I just wish they would shut-up sometimes.

I have been playing scrabble a lot nowadays and I tend to play the word ‘Qi’ quite often. Forgetting it’s meaning and not realizing how much I’ve messed up and ignored my own balance in life. I let the voices overtake my judgment and cause inner drift of my yin and yang. After much argument and critically acclaimed performances by my inner soul, I’ve come to realize I was being distracted from the bigger picture. I was off-focus in many ways and was fighting really hard to find balance. Disregarding the fundamental step of taking a break and breathing. Accepting my energy and matter around me for what it really is, accepting me and others for who they really are; without prejudice, without doubt, without fear.

To you without prejudice:

Sometimes you do need to be slapped in the face to realize what you already know. I’m not the center of your world and you’re not the center of mine. Sometimes known facts can be easily ignored. You have been and will always be a vital part of my world though; because you’ve helped me recognize a different side of me that I can’t help but love.

To you without doubt:

I did forget who you are to me and what you mean in my life. Sometimes we forget to measure the most important ingredient in life not realizing how sour we may be making it. Life does throw lemons your way and I must learn to admit that some will be too bitter for lemonade. I need to learn to figure out what is right for us. I need to learn to trust you more and accept you without judgment. I need to focus on ‘US’ and not just ‘You’ and not just ‘Me’ and not just the world around our feet.

To you without fear:

Sometimes when one outlet is clogged I must create a new one and sometimes another new one. There is no spoken rule on outlets just rules on trust. I sometimes forget that I do not have to tell the whole world the whole truth just the ones who matter.

It is me.

It may be a playground for my soul… but the earth digs deep into my veins freezing my bones. We often seize at the thought of our end but forget about the beginning, the beginning where the soul is free from free will and is ready to live for eternity.

I am the shadow of myself, for it is me who lives within this body. It is me who see’s the wonders, it is me who see’s the depth. I am loved by myself, for it is me who enters this world. It is me who knows what love is, it is me who feels the pain. It is my soul.

My soul is my shadow, my soul is my heart, my soul is my love, my soul is my senses, my soul is free of gender and my soul is forever timeless.